you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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