dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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