Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
