Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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