summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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