they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Randomize
