What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just gift wrapped bread.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
