I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
