They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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