I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
