Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i came on her dog
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize