What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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