Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
