Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
