Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
