last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Randomize
