Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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