# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
