I want to have your abortion
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Randomize
