I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
