Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
