But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
