I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
