When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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