who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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