3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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