Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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