my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
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