Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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