Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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