whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
