I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
