8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
