I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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