You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
