Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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