We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
