I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize