just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize