I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
