Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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