Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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