Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize