Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
