she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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