Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
