I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I look excited, but its just a facade.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
