Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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