My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize