Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
