i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
