Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Oh god it's open bar.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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