You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
