Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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