is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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