Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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