I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Randomize
