I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Randomize
