She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
