i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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