I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
