She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
