Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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