yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
