You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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