I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You can't just leave with hair like that
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize