conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
