drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
